Sex and pain are two words that trigger innumerable reactions within women. Both are taboo topics from a feminine perspective. When combined, does the taboo multiply? For me, it stacked on top of itself like a wobbly taboo Jenga, each block poking uncertainly. I hoped it wouldn’t fall.
It’s estimated that around one in 10 Australian women have vaginismus, although this number is challenging to determine due to the taboo Jenga we continue to build. It’s something I have always had, but haven’t always been familiar with.
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Vaginismus is a condition that affects the muscles in the vaginal wall, causing them to involuntarily tense and spasm. This creates intense pain upon contact, for example, when using tampons, dixie cups, or having sex. Botox is a wonderful tool for conditions like this, but what on earth is vaginal botox, and how does one arrive at that point?
My experience and treatment of vaginismus is not unusual, and I’m not the only woman with a ‘designer vagina’ – here’s how it happened.
My vaginismus journey
Not knowing you have vaginismus is confusing and confronting. It’s as though you’re missing out on being a woman, and you aren’t sure why. Most women I know have been raised with some understanding that sex is painful, or at least, our early experiences can be. We’re expected to grit our teeth and push through the ripping pain, while our counterparts experience life-altering pleasure.
In contrast, as women we’re also taught that our sexuality is our value, our primary commodity and instinctive duty. Moving through puberty, I thought I’d become the walking sex goddess I was born to be. Yet, it never felt natural, easy, or fun.
I felt I would never get the hang of it – my body would always treat sex as a battle; a gruesome and painful encounter that I, the warrior, would fight through, and maybe one day, achieve the glorious sexy symbolism I so desired.
Despite my desires, I decided it’d be best for sex to be ignored and disregarded. Sex wasn’t for me, it was an alien concept for only a privileged few. For princesses, not warriors. I accepted my fate.
As my abstinence grew thicker and deeper, I rather surprisingly fell into a serious relationship. With a boy who studied medicine. I never thought I’d end up having my vagina mansplained to me, but I suppose in my avoidance, and my boyfriend’s adoration, the subject matter expert became more clear. My boyfriend alerted me to the concept of vaginismus. WTF.
What next?
From here, an adventure to the GP led to an appointment with a pelvic floor specialist. I undertook physiotherapy for my pelvic floor for eight months. My vaginal walls were gently rubbed once a week by a lovely South African pelvic floor physio, who took me through a meditation both before and after. It seemed the warrior needed to find its grounding to reach peak performance.
In addition, I was prescribed a dilator to use every day. The goal was to slowly progress through the sizes, as I began to learn what relaxation might feel like within my own body. Made more visible by the Netflix show, Sex Education, dilators are often used as a tool to assist in vaginismus treatment. They allow the body to ‘work its way up’, slowly building muscle memory, and to help patients understand what they are capable of when they take control back of their body.
Eventually, after many laborious and uncomfortable appointments, I reached a breaking point. I grew weary from battle. I was sore, with no progress to show for it.
Botox for vaginismus
One of my friends who works at a medispa introduced me to the use of Botox for issues like mine. Truthfully, I hadn’t ever actually grasped how Botox worked. I never understood how it reduced movement in your muscles, stabilising them, allowing for a more relaxed outcome.
I found myself breaking a lot of assumptions I had: Would I still be able to feel things? Could I still orgasm? Would it feel good for him? Does that make me loose? What if I want kids… can I even push them out!? A wild bunch of questions for a 22 year old to be having.
Feeling desperate, and comforted by a few Reddit threads, I googled ‘vaginal botox near me’.
The process then involved an initial consultation, a moment in the stirrups, and the same gentle rubbing I was all too familiar with. I was given two options: either to receive treatment in the chair at the gyno clinic, or to go under for surgery. Both procedures involve localised anaesthetic, so are mostly painless.
However, my doctor recommended I go under for my treatment, given the mental strain and severity of my vaginismus. I left my initial appointment with a booking at the hospital to receive vaginal botox. After all of the past anguish, it felt so simple.
The pivotal moment
During my surgery, the doctors found that I had a septate hymen, meaning my hymen had remaining connective tissue from top to bottom of my vaginal wall. This had been exacerbating my symptoms, and preventing me from progressing in my treatment. For me this was a pivotal moment – it made it all feel worth it.
I held a huge amount of guilt initially, for taking the ‘easy way out’ in terms of vaginismus treatment. It’s essential to believe in yourself as a woman, especially when undergoing a health treatment, and especially when you are in pain. Vaginal Botox is a real and important treatment for a condition such as vaginismus. Although the term ‘designer vagina’ is fun to say, it’s not an aesthetic treatment. It was something I needed to experience life without pain, something many women have been denied for far too long.
And so with my hymen removed and Botoxed up, a warrior princess and her designer vagina emerged from the ashes.
Depending on its placement within the body, Botox lasts around four to six months. My doctor encouraged me to ‘teach’ my body as much muscle memory as possible in this period, to reduce any further inflammation and muscle tension. Cost per wear, if you will.
The muscle memory aspect was truly a challenge for me. Regaining a connection and relationship with my boyfriend at the time was something we unfortunately couldn’t do. But life moves on. I still haven’t faced a tampon or a dixie cup, and I don’t plan on it.
But I am proud of how far I’ve come. My relationship with sex is now extremely positive, my love for my body continues to grow, even on the bad days. This treatment, and condition, is not linear. This is a unique process and it’s different for everyone, as it’s different for me on a daily basis.
I’m incredibly lucky to have had access to a treatment like this. Gynaecology is hardly a part of most private or public health cover – let alone Botox. I had a breadth of support from my family and friends, during what was a vulnerable and confronting experience. Your support system is integral to any health journey, and I hope this snippet of my experience can act in support of your own.
For support or advice, please consult your doctor.
Want to learn more about vaginismus? Try this.
This article I tried vaginal Botox: How my designer vagina came to be appeared first on Fashion Journal.
2025-04-08 12:08:00
#vaginal #Botox #designer #vagina
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