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Ask a sex therapist: I’ve had two sexual partners, my fiance has had 30. Am I missing out?

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Ask a sex therapist: I’ve had two sexual partners, my fiance has had 30. Am I missing out?
Ask a sex therapist: I’ve had two sexual partners, my fiance has had 30. Am I missing out?

Ask a sex therapist: I’ve had two sexual partners, my fiance has had 30. Am I missing out?

Jessica Wade is an experienced Australian sexologist and educator who brings an empowering, science-backed, and approachable perspective to topics surrounding sexual health and wellbeing. Her expertise allows her to address taboo subjects with compassion, credibility, and a fresh, modern lens that resonates with a broad audience.

Hi Jessica. I’ve been with my partner for five years and although I’m happy in our relationship, he’s only the second person I’ve slept with. He’s also had more sexual partners than me, and I can’t help feeling that I haven’t ‘explored’ my sex life enough. Any advice? – Jacqueline.


Looking for more stories on love, sex and relationships? Head on over to our Life section.


Jessica Wade: Jacqueline, I hear you, you’re feeling a little FOMO. Even though you’re happy in your relationship, there’s a part of you wondering: have I explored enough? Is there more out there? Your feelings are completely valid and they don’t necessarily mean anything is wrong with your relationship, just that you’re craving more sexual variety or discovery.

Sexual satisfaction thrives on both novelty and emotional connection. We crave the excitement of the new while also finding deep pleasure in feeling safe and secure – life’s dichotomy at its finest.

Exploring something unfamiliar can heighten desire, but so can deepening intimacy within an already established bond. Then there’s the question of monogamy versus non-monogamy. Some couples find that opening their relationship expands their pleasure and connection, while others feel most fulfilled within a committed, exclusive dynamic.

There’s no universal formula only what truly aligns with you. So, the real question is: What do you want? I can suggest three ways to explore your sexuality, without wrecking what’s working.

Turn up the heat, right where you are

If your relationship is already solid, maybe it’s not about changing who you have sex with but how you experience pleasure together. A powerful way to explore is through the senses (smell, taste, sight, sound and touch), all of which uniquely shape arousal.

In my work with clients, some of the most profound shifts happen when people slow down and attune to the subtle sensations that heighten pleasure. Are you an auralist, deeply turned on by whispers, moans, or the rhythmic cadence of a lover’s voice? Try exploring erotic audio, guided pleasure meditations, or the tension of silence and anticipation.

If scent is your aphrodisiac, lean into fragrant massage oils, candles, or the nostalgic pull of a perfume that makes your skin tingle.
The key is curiosity. When you tune into what truly excites your body, you open the door to deeper, more satisfying pleasure without needing to change the foundation of your relationship.

If you’re intrigued to discover your dominant pleasure sense, a sensory pleasure quiz can offer insight into what turns you on and how to bring more of it into the bedroom.

Get curious about the why

Before you even think about stepping outside your relationship, take a moment to explore what’s really driving these feelings. Are you craving more excitement? Do you feel like you’ve missed out on experiences? Or is it about comparing your history to your partner’s? (Spoiler: Their past partners have nothing to do with your pleasure potential).

One of the most powerful ways to unpack this is through deep, open conversations with your partner. Ask each other: What’s something you’ve always been curious to try? You might be surprised to find they’ve been craving novelty, too.

If these conversations feel tricky to navigate alone, working with a sex therapist can provide a safe, non-judgmental space to talk about your desires. I see many couples for this exact reason wanting to reignite, get curious and expand their pleasure without disrupting the foundation of their relationship.

Exploring ethically, if that’s your path

If you truly feel that non-monogamy is the answer, it has to come from a place of mutual agreement, not fear, resentment, or boredom. This isn’t about ‘fixing’ a problem. It’s about expanding possibilities.

The reality is that ethical non-monogamy is complex. It requires deep trust, radical honesty, and ongoing check-ins. And it’s not a free pass to just sleep around – healthy CNM relationships have boundaries just like monogamous ones do. Couples with clear agreements had higher relationship satisfaction than those who approached it haphazardly.

So, if this is something you want to explore, ask yourself: Are both of you genuinely open to it, or does one of you feel pressured? How will you navigate jealousy and emotional needs? What are your boundaries, both physical and emotional?

Open relationships work well for some, but not for all. The key is honesty, honesty, honesty.

The bottom line

Your desire to explore doesn’t mean something is wrong, it means you’re human. And good news: there’s no one right way to create a fulfilling sex life. Whether you’re reigniting things within your relationship or stepping into new dynamics, what matters most is that your choices align with your desires, values, and emotional well-being. So, take a breath. Get curious. Have the conversations. And remember, pleasure is medicine.

For more on Jessica’s work, head here.

This article Ask a sex therapist: I’ve had two sexual partners, my fiance has had 30. Am I missing out? appeared first on Fashion Journal.

2025-04-04 06:42:00

#sex #therapist #Ive #sexual #partners #fiance #missing

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Bike Clothing | COCKTAIL REVOLUTION

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Bike Clothing | COCKTAIL REVOLUTION
Bike Clothing | COCKTAIL REVOLUTION

Bike Clothing You Didn’t Know You Need

Whether you’re smashing out the kilometres on your weekend ride or commuting through the city during the week, one thing’s for sure — what you wear on your bike matters. It’s not just about looking the part. Quality cycling gear can be the difference between a ride that feels like freedom and one that feels like a slog. Here’s the low-down on bike clothing you didn’t know you need!

In Australia, where the weather can swing from searing sun to sudden showers, your choice of clothing plays a massive role in how enjoyable (and safe) your cycling experience is. That’s where high-performance, purpose-designed gear comes in — and it’s exactly what shop Cycling Sports specialises in.

Comfort and Performance — Hand in Hand

When you’re out on the road for hours, comfort becomes king. Cheap or poorly designed gear might feel okay for short rides, but after 30 minutes, you’ll start to notice the difference: chafing, overheating, poor fit, and no breathability. And once you notice it, it’s all you can think about.

On the flip side, well-designed bike clothing is tailored to the riding position, uses breathable and moisture-wicking fabrics, and supports your body in motion. It can actually make you ride better, longer, and with more focus. Less distraction, more flow.

Bib shorts, for example, are a staple for any serious cyclist. They take pressure off your waist, offer better support, and include a quality chamois (padding) that reduces saddle soreness on longer rides. Pair that with a fitted jersey, and suddenly you’re cutting through the air with less resistance and more efficiency.

Weather-Proof Your Ride

One of the realities of riding in Australia is that the weather doesn’t always play nice. A sunny morning can quickly turn into a windy or rainy afternoon, especially if you’re riding in Melbourne or the hinterlands of NSW. That’s why layering is essential — and why gear that’s adaptable is worth the investment.

Look for options like windproof jackets, arm and leg warmers, and base layers that keep you warm without overheating. The beauty of modern cycling apparel is how lightweight and packable it’s become — you can roll a rain jacket into your jersey pocket without adding bulk.

Safety with Style

Cycling gear isn’t just about performance — it’s also about visibility and safety. Many cyclists ride at dawn or dusk, where visibility is low and traffic is high. Reflective detailing and high-vis colours on your kit aren’t just a fashion statement — they’re a life-saving feature.

At the same time, there’s no reason you can’t look good on the bike. Modern cycling apparel blends style with function. Think sleek silhouettes, modern colour palettes, and materials that move with you. You’ll feel good, and you’ll look the part — whether you’re on a solo ride or heading out with the bunch.

Gear for Every Rider

One of the best things about shopping with Cycling Sports is the range. Whether you’re a weekend warrior, a dedicated road racer, or just getting into the sport, there’s something for every level and budget.

You’ll find trusted brands like Santini, Castelli, Pearl Izumi and more — all hand-picked for Aussie conditions. From summer jerseys and lightweight bibs to winter jackets and thermal socks, everything is curated with real-world riders in mind.

Not sure where to start? Their team is made up of cyclists who actually ride, which means you’ll get honest, practical advice based on real experience — not just sales talk.

Why Cyclists Across Australia Trust Cycling Sports

With over 30 years in the game, Cycling Sports isn’t just another online retailer. They’re part of the Aussie cycling community. Based in Adelaide, they offer fast shipping across the country, competitive pricing, and a loyalty program that rewards regular riders.

But what really sets them apart is their commitment to quality and service. They understand that when you buy cycling gear, you’re not just buying fabric and zippers — you’re investing in your ride.

Cycling is more than a sport. It’s a lifestyle. Think early mornings, open roads, and the sense of freedom that only comes with two wheels and fresh air. But to truly enjoy it, your gear needs to support you, not slow you down. Whether you’re riding for fitness, for fun, or chasing that next Strava segment, make sure your kit is up to the task. With top-tier bike clothing, expert advice, and a wide range of gear suited to Australian conditions, Cycling Sports is your go-to destination for everything on and off the bike.

Featured Image: Beau Runsten

Like this? See more like this at: Sustainable, Ethical Hi Vis Vests

2025-04-04 05:28:00

#Bike #Clothing #COCKTAIL #REVOLUTION

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A pleasure coach debunks some of the common myths about sex

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A pleasure coach debunks some of the common myths about sex
A pleasure coach debunks some of the common myths about sex

A pleasure coach debunks some of the common myths about sex

The sheer number of sex-related misconceptions is pretty mind-blowing. If I compiled all the sex-related myths I’d ever heard, I’d have a fantasy/sci-fi book with enough twists and turns to rival a collection of Greek mythology. The difference is that we know the adventures of Perseus and Hercules aren’t real, and for that reason, they’re harmless fun.

But when it comes to our sexual and reproductive health, you don’t really want to be getting things wrong. I admit I’ve succumbed to my fair share of sex-related myths. Sex was never really a dinner-table topic in my household, and because I went to a Catholic girls’ high school, it wasn’t discussed there either. I relied on my girlfriends, Dolly magazine and Dr Google to keep me informed. It’s safe to say that none of these were exactly peer-reviewed sources.


For more sex advice, head on over to our Life section.


Eventually, as I learned how to distinguish a reputable source from a non-reputable one, I began to shed some of these beliefs. I spoke with actual doctors and read reliable medical information online, and I started to realise just how naive I had been. Yes, you can still get pregnant if you pee after sex. No, not all labia look the same (the kind of things that’d make any gynaecologist despair).

I can’t blame myself for my teenage ignorance – I never received an education that specifically addressed contraception, preventing and treating STIs, affirmative consent, or how women experience pleasure. But It’s 2022, right? This stuff shouldn’t be revolutionary. 

But in the spirit of slaying one dragon at a time, I’m going to table my sex education agenda for the time being and focus on what I can do. With the help of Euphemia Russell, a certified pleasure coach, facilitator, and author of the upcoming book entitled Slow Pleasure, I’ve compiled a list of some of the most common myths about sex and why they aren’t true. 

Virginity is a biological state

For a long time, I thought virginity was simple: you’re a virgin, until one day you have sex and you aren’t anymore. But there’s actually a lot more to it than that. According to Euphemia, virginity is a social construct. “It’s just [a] collective concept we inherited,” they tell me. “It has to do with property and ownership of bodies and people, particularly people socialised as girls and women.”

Historically, a woman’s virginity was an indication of her ‘purity’. It’s an old-fashioned idea that still exists today, even though it isn’t based on biology. Yes, we typically associate virginity with the presence or absence of a hymen – but the hymen doesn’t disappear when someone with a vagina has sex. It stretches or tears, and this can happen for reasons other than sex too. The point is, people’s bodies don’t all function the same way, and there aren’t any biological criteria for what makes someone a virgin.

The concept of virginity also doesn’t account for other types of non-penetrative sexual activity. “It reinforces a particular hierarchy to sex, assuming that penetrative sex between a penis and a vagina is the ultimate and only way [to have] sex,” Euphemia says. “So obviously it erases many people’s different ways of experiencing sex.”

The truth is, sex is just an experience – the same as riding a bike or going skydiving. There’s no word to describe the state of your body before or after you skydive, so why is there one for sex? “The idea of virginity can make it feel like it’s something that’s taken from you,” Euphemia tells me. “A lot of young people think they’re giving something away rather than experiencing something for themselves.”

Sex should look and feel like it does in porn

Many people turn to porn to answer their questions about sex, especially when no one’s teaching them about it. Unfortunately, porn doesn’t offer very realistic depictions of sex. “What looks good on camera doesn’t always feel good,” Euphemia explains. “We forget that [the] fantasy is not our own. In a media-dominant society, we can have our fantasies hijacked by other media and believe that [this] is something that we desire.” That’s not to say that all porn is bad, just that it shouldn’t be used as a means of education.

Masturbation is bad/you can masturbate ‘too much’

Masturbation is one of those things that seem bad because no one wants to talk about it. “It’s not normalised [and] it’s not celebrated for people socialised as girls and women,” Euphemia tells me. Without any open discourse to normalise pleasure and masturbation, people feel as though they need to hide their experiences, which then perpetuates feelings of guilt, shame and anxiety. 

“I think the major question that people are asking around all of their worries and insecurities around pleasure is ‘Aam I normal? Is my experience normal?’” Euphemia says. “And with masturbation or with sex and pleasure in general, we’re always told [we’re] either too much or too little. And never just like ‘Hey, your experience is one of many and you deserve support while you navigate it’.”

All vulva owners should be experiencing an orgasm during sex

It’s a nice thought, but sadly it’s untrue. The orgasm gap is real. In fact, vulva owners will only achieve orgasm from penetrative sex about 65 per cent of the time. Euphemia says that this is partly because we aren’t socialised to find out what brings us pleasure. This, combined with a lack of understanding of our pleasure anatomy, means that vulva owners often don’t reach orgasm in the bedroom.

But contrary to popular belief, orgasms through penetration aren’t the ultimate goal of sex.  “Unfortunately, it does come back to penis-centric sex,” they tell me. “[People think the] penis and vagina should be the ultimate experience of pleasure and sex, and it’s actually not.”

Sex is different for everyone, and it can feel good regardless of whether or not there’s penetration. Focusing on your own pleasure in the moment without stressing about what comes next (or rather, who) might actually give you the chance to figure out what works for you.

Condoms make sex less enjoyable

No, condoms don’t have to spoil the fun. There have been a lot of improvements made in the last few years to ensure that they don’t interfere with pleasure.

“[Condoms] can reduce sensation, but if we explore good options for lubricants… it can still be a very intimate and a very sensitive experience,” Euphemia says. “Brands like Skyn [have] been exploring non-rubber focussed [technology and] have really changed the experience of what condoms can feel like.”

Although there are a lot of sex-related myths out there, it’s important to start addressing them. Because it’s not just about getting our facts right, it’s about dispelling harmful ideas and destigmatising sex.

This article was originally published on May 26, 2023.

Head here to preorder a copy of Euphemia’s book.

This article A pleasure coach debunks some of the common myths about sex appeared first on Fashion Journal.

2025-04-04 04:00:00

#pleasure #coach #debunks #common #myths #sex

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Melbourne-based hair stylist Xeneb Allen shares her favourite products

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Melbourne-based hair stylist Xeneb Allen shares her favourite products
Melbourne-based hair stylist Xeneb Allen shares her favourite products

Melbourne-based hair stylist Xeneb Allen shares her favourite products

If TikTok virality has taught us anything, it’s that people are nosy when it comes to beauty products. We want to know who’s double cleansing at night, how often people are washing their hair and exactly what tweezers they’re using.

This curiosity is amplified when it comes to professionals’ routines. With extensive experience both on set and in the salon, hair stylist Xeneb Allen has a particularly covetable kit. She’s the founder and director of Curlysiouxsie, a creatively-driven alternative to conventional salons based in Melbourne’s Nicholas Building. Below, she shares a glimpse inside her kit.


Want to snoop inside the beauty regimes of other creatives? Head here.


Davines More Inside Oil Non Oil

This is a light oil that literally has no residue and doesn’t add any stickiness to the hair after you apply it. I love this for a careful, natural finish after I dry cut, or if I wash hair after the cut. It keeps frizz away and it’s ideal for those who don’t love the feel of hair products.

Get it here.

Sachajuan Finish Cream

 

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This cream gives a light, easy finish after a blowout or when I’m on set to maintain smoothness, without stickiness. It’s really pliable, so I love it for wet hair looks too.

Get it here.

Kevin Murphy Hair Resort Spray

 

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Your beach look or tousled texture friend. I love to use this on fine, wet hair, post-haircut and wash, to blow wave with. It delivers the best grip to the hair before drying, to be followed with any finishing product of your choice.

Get it here.

Ampro Shine ’N Jam Conditioning Gel

To lay those edges for my curly and coily honeys, both in the salon and on set. Shine ’N Jam has great staying power and doesn’t get crusty.

Get it here.

Dyson Supersonic r™ Professional Hair Dryer

Just when I thought the Dyson dryer I had was the bomb, along comes this! I blow wave a lot in the salon and use dryers a lot on set. This lightweight tech means your gal’s wrist is still intact after a 12-hour day of manoeuvring.

Get it here.

Cantu Shea Butter Coconut Curling Cream

Apart from smelling heavenly, I like this mid-weight cream for coily, curly or wavy hair types as it gives hold without weight.

Get it here.

Keep up with Xeneb here.

This article Melbourne-based hair stylist Xeneb Allen shares her favourite products appeared first on Fashion Journal.



2025-04-04 03:31:00

#Melbournebased #hair #stylist #Xeneb #Allen #shares #favourite #products

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Forget the Tank à Guichets, I’m not over the Cartier Tressage

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Forget the Tank à Guichets, I'm not over the Cartier Tressage
Forget the Tank à Guichets, I'm not over the Cartier Tressage

In the world of Cartier, time is never linear. It twists, leaps, and refracts – turning gold into gesture, a panther into poetry. For Watches & Wonders 2025, the Maison reveals a suite of creations that continue its legacy of metamorphosis: watches that behave like jewellery, jewellery that dares to tell the time.

From the architectural elegance of the Tank à Guichets to the textured opulence of the Panthère and the sculptural brilliance of Tressage, each piece is an invitation into Cartier’s most alchemical design universe yet.

 

Tressage: The watch as woven sculpture

Forget the Tank à Guichets, I'm not over the Cartier Tressage

A true fusion of watch and jewellery, the Tressage collection pays tribute to Jeanne Toussaint’s legacy with audacity and grace. Here, gold isn’t just cast – it’s woven. The watch takes on volume and rhythm, with two twists of precious metal and pavé diamonds framing a rectangular dial. On one side, smooth gadroons glint with warmth; on the other, vertical brancards cut through like architecture.

Choose your finish: yellow gold with black lacquer and strap for a bold, modernist edge; or opt for the white gold, sapphire, and diamond variation, where shimmer flows from dial to strap like silk spun from stone. Each watch includes two interchangeable leather straps—because style, like time, should be lived in layers.

 

The Tank à Guichets: A minimalist’s dream in motion

Forget the Tank à Guichets, I'm not over the Cartier Tressage

First introduced in 1928 and reborn this year under the Cartier Privé banner, the Tank à Guichets redefines digital timekeeping – no hands, no fuss, just two clean apertures. Hours at 12, minutes at six. The rest? A seamless gold or platinum canvas that wears like sculpture.

This year’s iterations honour the codes of the original while introducing new stylistic energy. The case is brushed and satin-finished, contrasted with polished horizontal brancards that elongate the silhouette. Available in yellow gold with green accents, rose gold with grey, and two platinum versions – one classic, one off-kilter with angled apertures for a dose of 1930s avant-garde flair. Each is powered by the hand-wound 9755 MC calibre, a quiet triumph of internal architecture.

 

Panthère de Cartier: Where feline grace meets graphic excess

Forget the Tank à Guichets, I'm not over the Cartier Tressage

Always more than a watch, the Panthère has long been Cartier’s most sensual timepiece – and in 2025, it’s dialled up to its most expressive form. A bold interplay of zebra and tiger motifs in lacquer, diamond pavé, and spessartite stones creates a coat that’s wild but refined. It’s animal print made abstract – an homage to Cartier’s “magicien” spirit.

The snow-set dial shimmers with 145 diamonds; the bracelet unfolds with a mix of hand-applied lacquer and over 300 individually set stones. Then come the semi-paved variations in rose and yellow gold, where gradients of brilliance trace the links of the bracelet like sunlight across skin. Elegant, radiant, and utterly feline.

 

Panthère Jewellery Watch: Two souls, one creation

Forget the Tank à Guichets, I'm not over the Cartier Tressage

Cartier’s final flourish is the Panthère Jewellery Watch – a sculptural marvel and a love letter to duality. Part bracelet, part timepiece, it plays with perspective: a lifelike three-dimensional panther crouches on one side of the wrist, ready to pounce, while a delicate dial sparkles on the other. In yellow or white gold, this “Toi & Moi” piece reimagines the panther with exquisite realism – tsavorite eyes, onyx nose, even paw pads rendered in intricate detail.

The white gold version, with over 1100 diamonds and Cartier’s rare fur-setting technique, is pure theatre. It took 230 hours to create. And yet, it feels effortless – because at Cartier, glamour and craftsmanship are never mutually exclusive.

 

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