Laura Roscioli is a sex writer based in Melbourne. Her fortnightly column on Fashion Journal is here to make sex (and the conversations around it) more accessible and open-minded. She believes that the best learnings come from lived experience, and she’s here to share hers — and other people’s — with you. This week, she hears from Nath Wyld, a male stripper who shares what really goes on at hens parties.
Nath Wyld: “I never planned to be a stripper. It wasn’t some wild teenage dream or an extension of a secret OnlyFans empire, I just needed a weekend job. Something flexible that paid well. A mate of mine was topless waiting at the time and said I should give it a go, so I applied and got hired pretty much straight away. No big pitch or portfolio of nudes. Just some muscles, a smile, and a willingness to flirt with strangers.
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At first, I was a waiter – the kind that wears no shirt and a bowtie, pours drinks and flirts with everyone’s nan. You become the party’s energy source, whatever that needs to look like. But if you’re good and confident, and not a total dickhead, you eventually get hired for hens parties. That’s where the real money is. Less time, more payoff. Then, eventually, if you’ve got stage presence, they ask if you want to try performing. Stripping. That’s when things really start to get interesting.
I wouldn’t have guessed I’d love it as much as I do, but once I stepped into the spotlight and heard that first crowd of screaming women, I felt something shift. I love the adrenaline of performing, it’s like a rush of electricity through your chest and tbh, it’s addictive. There’s a rhythm to it. You go from house to house, party to party, slipping into character, pressing play on whatever persona the room wants. You become this fantasy character: the fireman, the cop, the cheeky tradie with the loose tool belt. And then you’re gone, onto the next one, glitter still clinging to your skin.
Of all the things people assume about strippers at hens or bucks parties, infidelity is the one they get the most wrong. It’s not the men cheating on their brides-to-be, it’s the women. Quiet moments in hallways, behind closed doors, after the music fades and the rest of the group is distracted by dick straws, drinking games or karaoke.
I’ve also seen something arguably more interesting: entire groups of women making a silent, unspoken pact to cheat. It’s a kind of collective decision to let the night take them wherever it goes. When one does it, the rest feel like they have permission to join in. It’s as though they’re looking for permission to step outside the lines of monogamy and all it takes is for one person to step forward and make the first move.
There was one hens party I’ll never forget. It was in a coastal town, a weekend away type situation. The bride wasn’t the one who strayed but five of her friends did. They all had partners back home but there was something about being in a place removed from their normal lives, with alcohol, music, and someone like me stepping into the room, that gave them permission. I saw it happen all around me. One by one, they disappeared into bedrooms with other performers (my colleagues) and then returned, as if nothing happened. No guilt, no whispering amongst girlfriends. Just a group of women who’d made a collective decision and stood by it.
At first, I was shocked. Not just that it happened, but how often it happened. We grow up being told that men are the ones who cheat, who stray, who can’t be trusted at the bucks night. But after a few years in this industry, I can say with confidence that women are just as capable – maybe even more so. I think the difference is that they’re better at keeping quiet, like they’re more strategic and less sloppy about it, or something. And I don’t say that with bitterness, it’s just the truth.
Do I care? Nah. Not on a personal level. At the end of the day, this job is transactional. Everyone’s getting what they want: the women get their moment of fantasy, their night of freedom, their taste of rebellion. I get paid and move on. If I’m single, I’ve done nothing wrong. And I’ve never seen anyone get hurt or have a meltdown about what they’ve done.
There are definitely moments that make me wonder about things like monogamy and desire, and how many people are walking around with stories and experiences they’ll never tell their partners. That’s one thing about working in the adult industry, you feel like you carry this wealth of knowledge about what people get up to when they’re alone, or in an environment where they don’t need to play by society’s rules.
I’ve had women flirt so aggressively during a show that I’ve had to step back and remind them (and myself!) that this is a performance, not real life. I’ve had women slip me their number with a wink while their friend quietly reminds me she’s got a fiancé. And I’ve had nights where someone pulls me aside, quietly, as I’m packing up, and asks if I’ll stay a little longer, until the others have gone to bed. Sometimes they just want to talk, but usually they want something more.
I think what they’re looking for is rarely just sex. It’s a break in the narrative. A moment where they get to feel sexy, wild, spontaneous and a bit naughty. I think we all like to feel naughty sometimes, and I get that being a stripper gives you permission to do that. Like, you’re watching someone take their clothes off and be purposefully sexy – it’s supposed to turn you on.
It’s also supposed to feel fun and playful. So much of adulthood is about containing our feelings, our desires, our impulses and I think the whole point of a hen’s party is to do the complete opposite of that before you ‘settle down’. It’s an occasion for rules to go out the window, where misbehaving is encouraged and not criticised, especially if you invite a stripper into the mix.
Not all hens parties are scandalous. A lot of them are harmless fun and some are even kind of sweet. But there are outliers, of course, there always are. It honestly would be naive to think otherwise. And while I might be the one in costume, dancing under cheap disco lights, I’m often not the one pretending.”
Keep up with Laura on Instagram at @lauraroscioli.
This article “A silent, unspoken pact to cheat”: A male stripper’s perspective on Australian hens parties appeared first on Fashion Journal.
2025-04-15 09:11:00
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